05. But they'll still look in your eyes
To find the human inside
You know there's always something in there to see
[‘There’s Always Someone Cool Than You’ – Ben Folds]

Canon past-scene, set cira Season 2

There are some days you just wake up and wonder why life decided to take a gigantic dump all over you. In that wake of my accident, I pretty much woke up every day like that, and went to sleep like that at night, too. It was hard for so many reasons, and compounded by the fact I more often than not felt like I was going to upset everyone close to me if I wasn't optimistic and hopeful. Yay, Jason would get his legs back in a miracle from God.

Bullshit.

( It was bullshit and we all knew it. I knew it, and it became harder and harder as the days went on to keep up the positive facade... )


Word Count | 650

31.1. Stop staring at me…

There are two things I remember following my accident as clear as if it was yesterday. One, that there was no pain. I had crushed a vertebrae in my spine, yet there was no pain… there was no nothing. There was just a sense that I knew my lower abdomen and my legs were all there but I couldn’t feel them. I could see them. Body parts attached to me, but not even an itch or a tickle to tell my brain that they were connected to me. It was going to be okay, though. I really was going to walk again.

No, really. I was. Those first few days stuck in traction, braces, tubes, catheters, unmoving and stripped of any mobility, I had hope that it was really going to all be okay. Football was my one true love; there was no way one single tackle was going to take me down. I would sooner kill myself than let that happen. I could even handle the embarrassment of having to rely on nursing staff and my family for everything. Those first few days, I wasn’t bitter because I was going to get out of there soon. It was just a hitch in the road and I could handle it. I was the Quarterback of the Dillon Panthers and I was going to go on and play football at college because it was my absolute damn passion. God wouldn’t do this to me. He wouldn’t.

( Then the days started passing at a slow pace, because really, lying on your back and staring at either the ceiling or straight ahead of you isn’t conducive for time killing... )


Word Count | 577